Is your wilderness season hardening you or humbling you?

I am no stranger to wilderness seasons — abuse, a failed marriage, single parenting,

the loss of both parents within a short period of time, legal action. They don’t get

easier. In fact, they often become more complex, and you may find yourself feeling

more worn down than before.

If you are in a wilderness season right now, this article is for you. You are not alone,

and you will get through it.

Wilderness seasons (or winters) are those moments where you find yourself

wondering how you even got here. You are in a place you never expected to be. It’s

hard. You feel parched. And just when you think help is on the way, you realise it was

only a mirage.

What matters most in these seasons is focusing on what you can control, rather than

what you can’t. You can control your thoughts, the story you tell yourself, how you

show up, what you focus on, the goals you set, and the way you treat others.

Two Possible Outcomes: Hardening or Humbling

Wilderness seasons tend to shape us in one of two ways.

Hardening

Hardening often develops when pain is experienced without meaning or purpose.

This can look like:

• Growing bitterness or resentment

• Increased self-protection or emotional withdrawal

• Blaming others or circumstances

• A loss of teachability

• Trying to control outcomes rather than surrendering them

• Living with the belief: “Life happens to me”

Humbling

Humbling occurs when wilderness seasons are approached with trust and a quiet,

steady hope.

This can look like:

• Increased empathy and compassion for others

• A willingness to be shaped rather than rescued immediately

• Openness to growth and correction

• Living with the belief: “Life happens for me”

Wilderness Reveals What Comfort Conceals

Wilderness seasons teach us a great deal about ourselves.

Do we have grit, or do we want to give up at the first hard thing?

Is our identity tied to the person, role, or situation we are struggling with?

Do certain weaknesses rise to the surface?

Many of these things would remain hidden if we never walked through the

wilderness.

I recently heard of someone who had been through an incredibly difficult

season — one that would cause many people to crumble under the pressure. When

asked about it, they simply said, “It was a bit of an inconvenience.” I remember

thinking, That is the kind of perspective I want.

Wilderness Seasons Are Temporary but

Transformational

The good news is that wilderness seasons do not last forever. They are rarely the

destination. More often, they are preparation—for new responsibility, deeper

gratitude, or expanded influence.

So, my dear friend, if this is you right now, here are my top tips for weathering a

wilderness season well:

1. Stay grounded in gratitude

Begin each day by naming three things you are grateful for, and end the day

the same way.

2. Don’t live looking backwards

You cannot change the past. Stay the course and keep moving forward.

Remind yourself often: “I will get through this.”

3. Lead with curiosity

Curiosity is a powerful companion in the wilderness.

Instead of “I can’t do this,” try “I wonder how I might do this?”

Instead of “This is too hard,” try “Hmm… this will be interesting to work

through.”

What we tell ourselves—especially in the wilderness—matters more than we realise.

If you are in a wilderness season please dont do it alone, reach out to a friend, seek professional help and know its only temporary. Will you allow your wilderness season to harden or humble you?