It's been years in the making but I can honestly say I have come to love myself. Not in a conceited proud way, but simply that I love the woman who God created me to be.
Outside of a relationship with God what is the most important relationship you have? You may say with your spouse, or if unmarried with your parents or your children but it's actually the one you have with yourself.
The challenge is how do we do this? How do we truly love ourselves?
1/ A good start is to take away all comparison- it will rob you of your joy. Make a list of the qualities, strengths, and talents you have and start using them more. The more you operate in your gifts the more you come to life.
2/ Reduce the power of your inner critic. We are meaner and harsher to ourselves than anyone else. We would never speak to someone else the way we do to ourselves. We get away with it because no one else hears it and because we can't run from ourselves. So I often ask clients 'what would you say to a good friend in this same situation?' 'Then say that to yourself.' If you have a thought over and over again that isn't kind, then replace it with 'Dear Mind, thank you for that thought' and let it go. You may have to do that 100 times a day, to begin with, but over time it will have less power and eventually stop or be replaced with something more beneficial. I encourage you, you don’t need to let your thoughts rule you, you can rule them, and you certainly don’t have to believe everything you think.
3/ Forgiveness is key- I can't stress what an important tool forgiveness is. It prevents bitterness, anger, and regret. I'm talking here about forgiveness to self. What are you holding onto from 20 years ago? 10 years ago? 5 years or even last week? It doesn’t serve you. Choose to forgive yourself for no other reason than freedom. How can you truly love anyone that you are holding offenses toward? In a session if a client experiences unforgiveness towards themselves I will have them write a list of all the things that they are holding onto about themselves that they haven't moved on from- maybe it was a wrong relationship, maybe a job deal, maybe a move, maybe poor choices. We get it all down on paper and then to each one, the client chooses to forgive themselves and let it go. The paper gets ripped up into tiny pieces at the end of the session and it gets 'binned' for good.
The sweet person reading this, you deserve to give yourself a break and enjoy yourself for who you were created to be. If you would like any support with truly loving yourself please reach out to me. The best is yet to come. You have an incredible future.
